Fight or Flight

I crave the irresponsibility of it all,

selfishly,

the contradictory release,

bare invisibility.

to be one, among the many,

Searching for security within our insecurities,

imploring convention,

to drown each other in happiness,

the happiness we know and love – and hate.

nameless and faceless.

Who is unimportant,

it’s the What we’re all after,

windowless freedom,

Flight.

Home.

where I can get heavy,

and deep and low cause we’re high

and at least we understand that we don’t,

and we’re broken.

yearning for instability time ticks by,

days pass,

the pavement rushes underfoot.

I hear the nothingness is an accomplishment,

but they don’t stand beside me when they say so-

Stuck

Here

Alone

In sensory overload mode just watching while the world speeds by.

All my doing, kept at bay,

guarding my arms

length.

concealing my wounds,

licking,

but to no avail.

What’s the point?

Hemorrhage, and reseal me.

I miss the scene.

The glow of the night lights dancing in the night life,

and the opportunity to shut off the world.

Tempting.

It’s all just a phone call away

(reach out and touch me)

Those days are never far behind

(right around the corner)

It seems like only yesterday

(too far for satisfaction)

And here I’m wishing yesterday

(too near for relief)

Was instead today.

CONSEQUENTLY!

It’s all irrelevant

(always the optimist)

Or is that inevitable?

(at least I feel the pain)

BECAUSE!

I decided long ago that, piece remains atop the table,

Put down, a putdown

Collecting

Dust-

Pieces of me,

however microscopic they may be,

collect upon its surface.

Glossy to matte to gray.

Gravity, pulling me back piece by piece,

starving me of peace by piece.

Starved

What else is there?

I’ll

Just

Proceed

Press forward through the nothingness and THIS

will pass again.

The pavement rushing underfoot.

All this silly dialog will be,

But a silly memory-

Wasted ink

Wasted time

Wasted life.

The Champ!

Winning a losing battle.

Trapped in perpetual fight,

Dreaming of a fruitless flight.

C

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3 thoughts on “Fight or Flight

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