I crave the irresponsibility of it all,
the contradictory release,
to be one, among the many,
Searching for security within our insecurities,
to drown each other in happiness,
the happiness we know and love – and hate.
nameless and faceless.
Who is unimportant,
it’s the What we’re all after,
where I can get heavy,
and deep and low cause we’re high
and at least we understand that we don’t,
and we’re broken.
yearning for instability time ticks by,
the pavement rushes underfoot.
I hear the nothingness is an accomplishment,
but they don’t stand beside me when they say so-
In sensory overload mode just watching while the world speeds by.
All my doing, kept at bay,
guarding my arms
concealing my wounds,
but to no avail.
What’s the point?
Hemorrhage, and reseal me.
I miss the scene.
The glow of the night lights dancing in the night life,
and the opportunity to shut off the world.
It’s all just a phone call away
(reach out and touch me)
Those days are never far behind
(right around the corner)
It seems like only yesterday
(too far for satisfaction)
And here I’m wishing yesterday
(too near for relief)
Was instead today.
It’s all irrelevant
(always the optimist)
Or is that inevitable?
(at least I feel the pain)
I decided long ago that, piece remains atop the table,
Put down, a putdown
Pieces of me,
however microscopic they may be,
collect upon its surface.
Glossy to matte to gray.
Gravity, pulling me back piece by piece,
starving me of peace by piece.
What else is there?
Press forward through the nothingness and THIS
will pass again.
The pavement rushing underfoot.
All this silly dialog will be,
But a silly memory-
Winning a losing battle.
Trapped in perpetual fight,
Dreaming of a fruitless flight.